A User's Guide to Affirmations
by Beth Harper
How Affirmations Have Worked In My Life
Affirmations have been a Godsend for me over the past few years. I'd like to tell you a little about my life before I discovered how to use them, and a little of what it is like now. I'd also like to give you a few important principles on their creation and use, so you may adapt them in whatever ways best suit your lifestyle.
When I first found myself increasing in size and becoming the large woman that the other women in my family have all become, I was dismayed. All the messages from the media tell us "you really ought to lose some weight." Less-than-well-meaning people tell us we're "disgusting." Doctors give us a verbal poke in the stomach, telling us how much healthier we would be if we used some dietary discretion and got more exercise. All these things added together led me to believe that I was an ugly person who no one really wanted to be around or be seen with. This was despite having a husband who was telling me that the more weight I gained, the prettier I was! I simply did not believe him. To sum it up, my self esteem had to look up to see the floor.
Over and over, my attempts at weight-loss failed. Because of the metabolic changes and obsession with food that dieting causes, as soon as I stopped one diet, I'd find myself heavier than I had been before I started it, but still I'd start another diet only to repeat the cycle. After awhile it became blatantly obvious that I needed to work on accepting myself as I was. By this time, my marriage had ended, and I needed to believe that I could eventually find someone who could love me. I knew from my psychology classes and reading that in order to find someone else who could love me, I needed to start loving myself and believe I was lovable. I started with some affirmations on my own. I began by looking myself in the eye in the bathroom mirror after I brushed my teeth and saying, "I love you." Then I expanded that to "You're a worthwhile person, and I love you."
Later, I got to the point of "You're worthy of friendship and love." At this point, I made up some little handwritten signs, and posted them in areas of my home where I would see them. One said "You're beautiful." Another said "You're smart," and others had additional compliments on them. When I would see one of these signs, I would say aloud the message printed on it. If I was near a mirror, I would look myself in the eye in the mirror as I was saying the affirmation.
And my life now? I weigh around 210 pounds, have a husband who does not consider size to be a factor in a relationship, and as I continue to learn to ignore comments like "You'd be pretty if you just lost some of that weight" from people I have no interest in anyway, I'm very happy the weigh I am today. Using affirmations has worked for me.
Guidelines For Creating and Using Your Own Affirmations
There are some things to keep in mind when writing or using affirmations. One of the most important is that the part of the brain that is receiving the messages does not understand negatives; it blocks out words such as no, not, and without. Thus, if you use an affirmation such as "You're not ugly," the brain gets the message "You're ugly," and nothing positive happens. A better tactic would be to say, "You're beautiful." Sometimes it is difficult to state things without using negatives. Consider how it could be done, and do it--it is well worth the effort.
Another point concerns the use of pronouns. Some people, especially those who are really down on themselves, as I was initially, find that affirmations work better if they are written and used in the second person. If your self esteem is really low and you say, "I am beautiful as I am," the response from your own inner critic will be "B***S***!!!" It is easier to accept a compliment coming from another person than from yourself.
A third helpful strategy is to put the affirmations--whether created by you or adapted from another source--on signs in your own handwriting. This serves two purposes: it makes the affirmations seem more familiar; and the mind believes more readily in what is written when it sees affirmations in your own handwriting.
Of course, if you are going to use signs, you must find a place to post them so that casual guests won't see them. I was fortunate when I was doing this that I lived alone, so I could easily put them in my bedroom, sewing room, or on my bathroom mirror, where they were private. At times when I was married and using affirmations, I've been fortunate in that both the men I've been married to have understood and actively supported what I was doing. It is sometimes helpful to have a supportive spouse state the affirmations to you verbally as well. Those who have non-supportive spouses or housemates have an additional problem to work through.
Using Largesse Affirmations for Size Esteem
I have given copies of the Largesse Affirmations for Size Esteem to several of my large friends, in various life situations, all with positive results. One woman who is single and lives with her parents had to post the Affirmations in her bedroom. She put them on the mirror, and says them as she's applying her makeup. Another woman, who lives with her seven-year-old daughter, put them in various areas of her home. A married woman with three children could only post them in her laundry room, and use the wallet-size card. A man who lives with his parents posted them next to his computer, where he can see them and say them to himself while he is working on the computer. In each case, it has opened up a line of communication for them about size esteem issues.
Five Principles to Remember
Recapping the principles I have outlined here, to successfully use affirmations, you should:
1. Always express them positively
2. Consider whether the use of first or second person best suits your needs
3. Write (or rewrite) them on signs in your own handwriting
4. Post them in a place where your privacy will not be invaded
5. Say them aloud, preferably while looking yourself in the eye
Try it--I'm sure you'll be as pleased with the results as I've been!
Beth Harper is a feminist, fat activist and freelance writer who lives in Colorado with her husband and their cats.
This information is a public service of Largesse, the Network for Size Esteem [http://www.largesse.net/] and may be freely copied and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial use in promoting size diversity empowerment, provided this statement is included.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Largesse Affirmations for Size Esteem
Largesse Affirmations for Size Esteem
1. I am a person of size and substance, worthy of self-respect and the respect of others.
2. I am strong, healthy and beautiful just the weigh I am right now.
3. I am capable of earning approval, winning affection and achieving happiness whatever the size or shape of my body at any particular time.
4. I give myself permission to eat normally, and I recognize food obsessions and eating disorders as inevitable consequences of weight-loss dieting.
5. I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect at all times, and always strive to project a positive self-image.
6. I have the right to size-appropriate accommodations wherever I may go.
7. I deny any person, group, or institution permission to discriminate against me or in any way demean me because of my size.
8. I live my life to the fullest and refuse to be victimized by others' prejudices or fears.
9. I am learning to respond effectively to size bigots in ways that educate them and empower me.
10. I join with other people of size, our friends, families, and non-fat allies, as we work together to make the world a friendlier place for people of ALL sizes.
This information is a public service of Largesse, the Network for Size Esteem [http://www.eskimo.com/~largesse/] and may be freely copied and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial use in promoting size diversity empowerment, provided this statement is included.
1. I am a person of size and substance, worthy of self-respect and the respect of others.
2. I am strong, healthy and beautiful just the weigh I am right now.
3. I am capable of earning approval, winning affection and achieving happiness whatever the size or shape of my body at any particular time.
4. I give myself permission to eat normally, and I recognize food obsessions and eating disorders as inevitable consequences of weight-loss dieting.
5. I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect at all times, and always strive to project a positive self-image.
6. I have the right to size-appropriate accommodations wherever I may go.
7. I deny any person, group, or institution permission to discriminate against me or in any way demean me because of my size.
8. I live my life to the fullest and refuse to be victimized by others' prejudices or fears.
9. I am learning to respond effectively to size bigots in ways that educate them and empower me.
10. I join with other people of size, our friends, families, and non-fat allies, as we work together to make the world a friendlier place for people of ALL sizes.
This information is a public service of Largesse, the Network for Size Esteem [http://www.eskimo.com/~largesse/] and may be freely copied and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial use in promoting size diversity empowerment, provided this statement is included.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Food Nannies Hawk the Hawkeye State
Food Nannies Hawk the Hawkeye State
By Sandy Szwarc
Published 03/16/2005
TCS
Like newspapers across the country, the Des Moines Register has published a special series addressing the "obesity crisis." The Register series, which began last Sunday, was entitled "The Losing Battle" -- appropriately named, just not in the way the newspaper believes.
The weight loss industry faces a losing battle selling their diets and bariatric surgeries among residents there. Iowans are known for their old-fashioned common sense and aren't getting on board with the panic over their body weights and the need to lose weight being marketed. The Register, however, has. And their series offers consumers across the nation an eye-opening illustration of obesity doublespeak at work.
Iowans don't know that obesity is a deadly medical condition, the Register tells readers. Writer Anne Carothers-Kay reports that 60% of Iowans are either "overweight" or "obese." This "bad news," she notes, makes Iowa the 15th-most obese state in the nation. According to reporter Jennifer Dukes Lee, this is a "crisis."
But is it?
-snip-
By Sandy Szwarc
Published 03/16/2005
TCS
Like newspapers across the country, the Des Moines Register has published a special series addressing the "obesity crisis." The Register series, which began last Sunday, was entitled "The Losing Battle" -- appropriately named, just not in the way the newspaper believes.
The weight loss industry faces a losing battle selling their diets and bariatric surgeries among residents there. Iowans are known for their old-fashioned common sense and aren't getting on board with the panic over their body weights and the need to lose weight being marketed. The Register, however, has. And their series offers consumers across the nation an eye-opening illustration of obesity doublespeak at work.
Iowans don't know that obesity is a deadly medical condition, the Register tells readers. Writer Anne Carothers-Kay reports that 60% of Iowans are either "overweight" or "obese." This "bad news," she notes, makes Iowa the 15th-most obese state in the nation. According to reporter Jennifer Dukes Lee, this is a "crisis."
But is it?
-snip-
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Do-It-Yourself Self-Esteem Repair
Healthy Weight Journal March/April 1999 Vol. 13 #2
Size Acceptance
Do-It-Yourself Self-Esteem Repair
by Carol A. Johnson, MA
1. Weight is not a measure of self-worth. Why should it be? Your self-worth is your view of yourself as a total person— how you treat others; how you treat yourself; the contributions you make to your family, your friends, your community, and society in general. Your weight is just your weight. Don't give it any more importance than that.
2. List your assets, talents, and accomplishments and review that list often. Add to your list daily.
3. Focus on the positive aspects of your life — a job you like, good friends, a nice home.
4. Stop criticizing yourself. The inner voice that's telling you you're no good is a liar. View the voice as an unwelcome intruder and show it the door!
5. Avoid "globalizing." Instead of saying "I'm such a failure," say: "I didn't do that one little thing quite right, but I do most things right."
6. Let go of perfectionism, particularly in terms of food. You probably eat pretty healthily a lot of the time. Stop rebuking yourself for the occasional indulgence. Quit thinking of foods as "good" and "bad." Instead, use such terms as "a good thing to eat frequently" or " a good thing to eat occasionally."
-snip-
Size Acceptance
Do-It-Yourself Self-Esteem Repair
by Carol A. Johnson, MA
1. Weight is not a measure of self-worth. Why should it be? Your self-worth is your view of yourself as a total person— how you treat others; how you treat yourself; the contributions you make to your family, your friends, your community, and society in general. Your weight is just your weight. Don't give it any more importance than that.
2. List your assets, talents, and accomplishments and review that list often. Add to your list daily.
3. Focus on the positive aspects of your life — a job you like, good friends, a nice home.
4. Stop criticizing yourself. The inner voice that's telling you you're no good is a liar. View the voice as an unwelcome intruder and show it the door!
5. Avoid "globalizing." Instead of saying "I'm such a failure," say: "I didn't do that one little thing quite right, but I do most things right."
6. Let go of perfectionism, particularly in terms of food. You probably eat pretty healthily a lot of the time. Stop rebuking yourself for the occasional indulgence. Quit thinking of foods as "good" and "bad." Instead, use such terms as "a good thing to eat frequently" or " a good thing to eat occasionally."
-snip-
Monday, March 07, 2005
Father Knows Best?
Father Knows Best?
By Sandy Szwarc
Published 02/28/2005
TCS
If ever there was reason to reconsider the wisdom of having our healthcare and insurance under employment or government mandate, the "war on obesity" is it.
The surge of employer-based health insurance, which didn't happen in other insurance markets such as automobile and life insurance, and the creation of federal-based Medicare and Medicaid insurance in 1965, has contributed to skyrocketing medical costs and insurance rates for everyone, according to a just-released analysis by Robert B. Helms, director of health policy studies at the American Enterprise Institute. Receiving health insurance through employers removed the competitive marketplace which would have encouraged providers and insurance companies to keep costs down. It's also resulted in a plethora of untaxed health benefits, which at first glance seemed a good thing for recipients, and employers didn't mind since they could deduct benefits as a business expense. But it's also mostly benefited higher-income people with employer-provided perks, according to Helms, while meaning greater costs to our wallets, freedoms and choices.
Lawmakers have also played a significant role in raising costs of healthcare. State legislatures have passed more than 1,800 mandated health insurance "benefits," with 295 new mandates introduced in January of last year alone, according to a new report by the Council for Affordable Health Insurance. "For almost every health care product or service, there is someone who wants insurance to cover it so that those who sell the products and services get more business," they explain. Lawmakers justify their support by asserting that mandates won't cost much or that they'll save money, but "we have overwhelming evidence mandates virtually always cost money rather than save it," CAHI says. They estimate mandated benefits increase the cost for basic health insurance for all consumers by 20% to more than 50%, depending on the state. Worse, a number of these cost-raising, mandated covered treatments are frivolous, fraudulent or alternative -- unsound, ineffective, unproven or potentially dangerous.
-snip-
By Sandy Szwarc
Published 02/28/2005
TCS
If ever there was reason to reconsider the wisdom of having our healthcare and insurance under employment or government mandate, the "war on obesity" is it.
The surge of employer-based health insurance, which didn't happen in other insurance markets such as automobile and life insurance, and the creation of federal-based Medicare and Medicaid insurance in 1965, has contributed to skyrocketing medical costs and insurance rates for everyone, according to a just-released analysis by Robert B. Helms, director of health policy studies at the American Enterprise Institute. Receiving health insurance through employers removed the competitive marketplace which would have encouraged providers and insurance companies to keep costs down. It's also resulted in a plethora of untaxed health benefits, which at first glance seemed a good thing for recipients, and employers didn't mind since they could deduct benefits as a business expense. But it's also mostly benefited higher-income people with employer-provided perks, according to Helms, while meaning greater costs to our wallets, freedoms and choices.
Lawmakers have also played a significant role in raising costs of healthcare. State legislatures have passed more than 1,800 mandated health insurance "benefits," with 295 new mandates introduced in January of last year alone, according to a new report by the Council for Affordable Health Insurance. "For almost every health care product or service, there is someone who wants insurance to cover it so that those who sell the products and services get more business," they explain. Lawmakers justify their support by asserting that mandates won't cost much or that they'll save money, but "we have overwhelming evidence mandates virtually always cost money rather than save it," CAHI says. They estimate mandated benefits increase the cost for basic health insurance for all consumers by 20% to more than 50%, depending on the state. Worse, a number of these cost-raising, mandated covered treatments are frivolous, fraudulent or alternative -- unsound, ineffective, unproven or potentially dangerous.
-snip-
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